16.1.07

The All Stars: My Thoughts

It's ALL STARS time, baby! I don't know about everyone else, but I'm ecstatic with this lineup. Some of my favorites are back, nothing too huge on the villain front (thank God He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Victimoria had a kid--but poor kid!), and according to the USA Today article, we are in for some curveballs according to the great BVM in the USA Today article (caution: Location Spoliers) since they had to keep the racers on their toes. As always, my breakdown on the teams. I have also included the place they could possibly come in during the race, based on leg performance average from their last outing.

Kevin and Drew
Joining us from the inaugural season are the beloved Frat Brothers, Kevin and Drew. In my opinion, they delivered the best line we've heard in all ten seasons, and it was in the very first episode on the first actual challenge: Swing you fat bastard, swing!. [not this type of swinging] Since the Race, these two went on to be on ESPN's Cold Pizza for a while and also had their own travel show on Discovery Channel. They also have an official website. While K and D were the epitome of the Ugly American in their white tennis shoes and windbreakers as they traveled through the world on the race last time, I couldn't get enough of them. In their first race, they finished fourth, finally ousted by a combination of Hours of Operations which kept them back in the previous round coupled with getting out of the taxi a bit early instead of making sure they were at the right entrance at the Temple of Heaven Park in China.



Danny and Oswald







I love this team. Season two wasn't watched by many viewers, but the highlight was definitely Team Cha cha cha, the two gay Cuban best friends from Miami. My favorite memory of them was from the Hong Kong leg, where they were beginning to fall prey to Killer Fatigue and start fighting with each other, so they eased the tension by going shopping. That's right: shopping. For Mocha Frappucinos and cologne. I shit you not. They met their demise by just falling a bit behind at a detour, and poor navigation finding the pit stop. Since the end of the race, Danny has moved to New York (where I met him at one of the finale parties) and it sounds like they had a falling out, but repaired their friendship and are closer than ever. So let's do it, boys: think of all the frappucinos you can buy with $1 million!





John Vito and Jill




Again, I totally heart this team. When I first heard their introduction, I thought "oh, blark". Jill had originally applied for the first season with her brother but they didn't make it, and then he was killed on 9/11 (his office was on the 105th floor of the WTC). John Vito was his best friend, and they started dating and wanted to run the race in his honour. Like I said, "blark". And it would have been exactly that had they not kicked frickin' ass. In the second episode of season three, the teams had to climb a pyramid in Mexico, and the image of tiny Jill racing up it like a spider in a tank top and camouflage pants will ever be ingrained in my brain. She truly is the female Rambo. These two picked quite possibly the stinkiest Fast Forward ever. While in Switzerland, they went to a cheese house (literally, a small hut full of wheels of cheese) and had to eat this HUGE wheel of swiss cheese until the clue was completely uncovered. I can't even stomach a bite of swiss cheese, and run from the stench (yet I eat Stilton with no problem. Huh.). Their elimination was due to just falling behind and navigating to the pit stop (are we noticing a trend, here? Close finishes that could have gone either way?). They lost out to a team who will be competing with them again on this race (see Teri and Ian below). Since the race ended, John Vito and Jill have broken up. This makes me incredibly sad, because I heart both of them so much. Kind of like when Ross and Rachel broke up for the first time. Except this was real. I met John Vito at the Finale party last May and he's just a fine looking in person as he is on TV. And totally a sweetheart.



Uchenna and Joyce


Uchenna and Joyce have the unique distinction of being the only previous winners to return to All-Stars. There's been talk for frickin' ages on the message boards about what constitutes and All-Star season: all winners? Fan favorites? The "best" racers that were done in by bad luck (Lena and Kristy with the haystacks, the Gaghans with the dreaded red coffee bean, etc) for a second chance (although, if they have bad luck, does this necessarily give them a second chance? I dunno. Although Carissa and Billy kicking some Romber butt would have been great---and I have no doubt that they could have done it). But, however the chips fell, these are our previous winners. The former employees of WorldCom and Enron respectively (sucks to be them), who have been trying so hard to have a child through IV procedures (sucks to be them), who were propelled into their win by Joyce shaving her head in India for a Fast Forward, and then nearly lost it by being all moral and begging strangers for cab to pay their last fare before running to the mat (am I the only one that finds employees for two of the largest corporate fraudulations who are trying to overcome fertility issues with science nearly losing due to morals a bit ironic?). But they did, and the twenty or so of us who were watching the end of season seven in Eric and Jonathan's apartment were screaming and yelling at the TV (mainly for joy) with their victory. This scene can be reenacted in your own living room if you purchase Amazing Race 7 on DVD! Anyways. I'm glad these two are back. I liked 'em.

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